“Introducing… “Hellhole 711: Shining Bugnuks”

Yeah. Whatever.

You have something against this corner? Bite me.

Before I bite YOU.

I might have to follow Complex Kim’s example and explain to you poor, innocent kiddies the extravagant story behind the title.

One. Why Hellhole?

Because I’m gonna be your worst nightmare. All the people who pissed and pisses me off shall now receive my wrath. This is the pain of retribution, you assholes. I’m gonna visit you in your sweetest dreams, and I shall be your worst nightmare. I freakin’ swear that I’ll eat you alive in your dreams, until the skin under your eyes sag so badly, you won’t even recognize your own sorry face.

You think I’m nice, pretty girl? Well screw you. I’m nice no more. I’m sick of taking your shit. I’m gonna unleash my evil unconscious.

This will be your average, everyday hellhole.

Welcome, citizen.

Two. Shining Bugnuks.

What the hell are bugnuks?

See Hidaka Ken’s beautiful babies? Those are bugnuks. Clench your fist, and out goes the little shiny babies. They could rip you to shreds, and the sound of whooshing metal is so totally music to m y ears.

The Grappler attained bugnuks for herself.

Who’s the Grappler?

Yours truly.

Holler, everybody. I’m NOT Aki Midori. I’m her evil twin. I reside within the depths of her long-repressed unconscious, and I am now unleashed, by the power of Simply Kim’s Evil Incarnate, Complex Kim.

I am Grappler Aki.

*insert maniacal laughter here*

What’s so freakin’ interesting about the life of a grappler?

Simple.

You guys get to see hard-core action. The angsts and joys of a teen-aged villain. You get to read things that shall forever taint your soul! *insert evil laughter here*

One may start wondering how I get to be friends with Complex Kim. Simple. I’m as complex and evil and demented as she is.

Yeah.Whatever. What’s the point of all these? This is all Kim’s fault.

I got a phone call in the middle of the night (from someone who resides in the neighboring corner, or couch, if you insist), asking me if I have something for this month’s update.

I don’t.

But I have to have one, and I have to put something in my hellhole of a corner, so now I do.

And this is it.

First and foremost, might I articulate that I am the Grappler of this Shrine. Translation: I am the damned bitch of this website - the one whom you shouldn’t piss, especially when she’s in one of her homicidal moods; the one whom you shouldn’t step on moment, and think you can get away with it the next.

I’ll freakin’ eat you alive, dammit.

Now, let’s liven things up, shall we?

Let’s transport you to the fucked-up life of the person you call Aki-chan. I have no issues, whatsoever, but I’m telling you, some things just freakin’ piss me off!

Like the fact that well…

I dunno what’s freakin’ pissing me off right now.

I’m about an itch away from telling you innocent people that you’re wasting your time traversing this column. You should be somewhere else, I tell you! I’m gonna pollute your mind if you freakin’ don’t hit that back button! Go somewhere safe, I tell you! Go… to Disneyland, or to Enchanted Kingdom… or hell! Go to the mall!

From this moment on, I am officially rating this corner… NC-17.

Yesh.

Now. What about the life of the grappler?

Really, really don’t know.

Yes. You’re wasting your time reading this, and you can’t do a thing about it. You can’t even complain, because I’ll bite your head off.

Unlike Kim, there aren’t any issues plaguing my mind as of the moment, but I really wanna bite someone’s head off. Now… why… thank you Complex Kim! You just volunteered!

Whatever happens… I’m gonna keep calling Sakuragi HANA.

And you can’t stop me.

Sorry, friend. Ya know I love you.

Next. Jake Blair sounds hot. Doesn’t matter whether or not he’s from the pits of hell and below. Yes.

Next. Your column is there, because you are a goddess.

That answered your question for you?

Now… I think I have an issue right now. I can’t believe I thought I didn’t have an issue, when all the while, this issue has been biting my bitchy ass for quite a long time now!

I want LONG SenRu’s, dammit! I want them, and I want them right now! You guys can’t believe how much I wanna read a long voluminous SenRu story right now. I mean… I’m talking Crystal fics, here, man! I’m talking Simply Kim fics; Anduril fics; Sakura epics. Shit damn, I want more!

Now… if there are any cool souls out there, who, in one demented way or another, was touched my by retarded plea, and by some miracle, wrote a long, quality, voluminous SenRu epic.

By heavens above. I’m gonna worship you!

What’s going on with the world, anyway? What’s with the Oneshot Domination? I want something long! I want something angsty! I want something that would make me cry, just so I could believe something could still touch my evil heart!

I want an Epic SenRu fic! It doesn’t matter whether or not it’s an AU, or what shit. I want it, and I want it now!

If I write another oneshot, remind me to shoot myself. I’m just contributing to my own demise.