Review by Aki Midori

Sometime short of two years back, I opened my mailbox and saw a fic submission from a writer whom I admire so much. It was a long, long fic. Frustratingly long, but half a day later, after I'm done reading it, I was pretty sure my heart was swelling with so much emotion -- love, joy, and most of all, pain. I was also damn sure that I've never cried that much before for a fan fiction. If I were to gather all the tears I've shed, I'm damned sure that I could fill a whole bucket. After I edited the fic, I never had the chance, nor the heart and the courage, to read the story again. It was left unread in the folders of the archives of my Yotan.

A few hours ago, I've read the same story again -- first time in years--, and as I sift through the pages of Microsoft Word, I suddenly came to remember why this fic is undisputedly the one I love most. All those emotions I felt two years ago, I felt again today.

This should probably be the weirdest fic recommendation you'll ever read. I might seem like I'm pouring out my feelings instead of writing out an intimidating critique on its plot, grammar, and word choice. I may seem like an emotionally retarded critique, but I have to say that my basis of a great story, is its ability to actually make me FEEL; I want to actually feel LIFE in a story. I want to BREATHE; see real people breathing the way I do. Living the way real people do. I want to feel real emotions. I want to feel what the characters are feeling, want to cry when they're crying, and laugh when they're laughing. I want to love when they're loving.

This story just about met those weird standards of mine. And I'm not saying this story is weird. This is probably one of the best you'll ever read.

I love the way Sakura-chan portrayed the characters. She brought out sides of them that we'd never imagine. She actually brought out not only what they are, but also what they could be, given a certain situation. And boy, oh boy, were there /many/ situations.

Many lives were woven together in this story. The side stories are actually superb additions, which would make this story an even more thrilling ride. It became an emotional roller-coaster, where one would see himself laughing one moment, and howling in sorrow the next. Each character has his own life, his own significance to the story. I don't even know which love story I love most-- each is equally heartwarming... and heartbreaking.

Rukawa may seem like a totally obsessed guy here, but that's what the story is all about. An obsession. But where this obsession is based, you'll only find out as you read. Sendoh himself is wonderfully portrayed in this story. Just how does one balance the past and the present? How do you actually listen to your heart, when it is as clouded as a stormy sky?

This story is not your ordinary, mushy-mushmush, 'I love you, you love me' kind of story. You will see different kinds of relationships; different facets of love. Here you will realize how loving so much could actually hurt. Here you will see another face of love. You will realize that there is more to loving than being happy and giddy and falling in love. You will realize that there is more pain in loving than you will ever know and expect.

In this story you will see a kind of love that is not really love-- but an obsession of sorts.

But it is in this story as well, that you will come to realize what a dear friend of mine has been telling me before--

That there would be no obsession without love.