Warning: Aggressive opinionated material & Heavy Sakuragi-Bashing Ahead!

Part One - Edited version

What strange notions do fans formulate from fellow fans or from pollution in the internet? I've come across the weirdest and most outrageous notions fans have about Slam Dunk. Notions that totally delve away from the canon series. Where in the world did they spawn forth from? And why do fans continue to patronize these even if it was never right from the very beginning? I haven't the faintest idea! I'm just here to make fun of it. >D

Talk about bizarre... Okay, so a lot of giggly-gooey fan-girls really do not know the meaning of the word "Uke" or "Bishounen". But one thing is certain, Sakuragi ain't either. He's definitely not a pretty-boy, absolutely not delicate & fragile! And he most certainly is NOT innocent and desirable! *shudders* Oh and I remember that there is a Hanamichi-uke ML... they believe that Sakuragi is the… *gulp* "The Ultimate Uke"? I could only marvel why… I say if Sakuragi was the ultimate uke, Uozumi is a frail princess! HAHAHA! Geez, if Sakuragi was every girl's ideal man, I'd really start worrying… doomsday is already here.

Hmmm, anyone with this serious misconception most certainly did not watch the 101 episodes of Slam Dunk or have not read all 31 issues of the manga. Or they may have "seen" it, but most likely have not understood it. True that the worst thing happening to fan-girls now is that they believe the first thing they see on the internet, especially those horrible Mary Sue-ish and OOC fanfics! Either way, to presume that the clumsy oaf Sakuragi Hanamichi is stronger than the graceful Rukawa Kaede is being judge-mental. It's like saying David is weaker than Goliath or that women are the weaker sex… At a glance you'd never guess that the beautiful and sullen Rukawa Kaede packs more punch than the loud-mouthed ruffian Sakuragi. But thanks to Takehiko Inoue, Slam Dunk is full of surprises! One of the truths of Slam Dunk is that Rukawa Kaede will always be better than Sakuragi. He is stronger and more sensible than our red-headed protagonist-slash-antagonist. Undeniable evidence of this was shown as early as episode two when Ruru managed to beat up all four of Hotta's goons, take 10 head butts from Sakuragi and still remain standing! And he STILL had the power to deliver one mean uppercut that sent Sakuragi reeling! There's a lot of scattered evidence throughout the series and manga as well. During their practices: Sakuragi is being taught how to do a lay-up shot. They end up fighting. Sakuragi traitorously attacks an unsuspecting Rukawa by hurling all the basketballs mercilessly on his cute head!!! (~.~ Koneko: Oooh I really hate that despicable and ugly ogre!!!) Rukawa says nothing (he doesn't even say "Ouch") but silently retaliates by hurling the huge metal cage for the basketballs. And he looks so very macho here, might I add… ^^ That's really heavy! I reckon that isn't something an ordinary strong person can lift by himself! Gawd, that's why they put wheels on that thing! But lo and behold! Rukawa does manage to lift it (effortlessly, without even losing one bit of his princely poise) and throw it right smack at Sakuragi's swollen but empty head! (Koneko: Whoo! Go Kae-chan!!!) I tell you, Rukawa aimed for the kill! And now let's take a look at how the supposedly 'stronger' *cough cough* Sakuragi reacts… First he panics, tries in vain to shield himself and then goes "Ouw-ouw-ouch! That's enough!" Pfft! +.+ Some tough guy. Is this your definition of stronger?

ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? IYA DA. No way, José. Not ever, never ever, not in a million lifetimes over. *thinks carefully* Okay, it's possible, if Sakuragi was really gay or if he had a split personality... and that'll be the day the word 'uke' becomes synonymous to "ugly" and yaoi be deprived of all intended beauty and aestheticism... Unless of course you violate their personalities and alter it. Which is what most RuSaku doujinshikas do when they draw Rukawa grossly lusting after Sakuragi (What's there to lust for?) and Sakuragi being so "frail" and "unable to defend himself"... So many things amiss in that scenario, and that is precisely why RuSaku doujinshi used to give me the major creeps! They're the stuff of nightmares! I see Sakuragi portrayed as a "frail", "vulnerable" and oh-so-helpless uke! *LOLZ* ^o^ I see him drawn as a girl in a kimono, complete with make-up and all, I see him portrayed as a princess, a rape-victim, a mermaid and many more! Now they just strike me as so utterly ridiculous, it makes me laugh!

Okay, so you think I'm contradicting myself? I say Sakuragi is no uke, but now I'm saying Rukawa is superior to Sakuragi and you're thinking everything I've pointed out makes Rukawa a seme to Sakuragi then? Wrong again! It makes Rukawa strong PERIOD. But it doesn't make Sakuragi an uke. To begin with, he's taller, but hardly superior to Rukawa in any other aspect except if you count stinky feet and body odor! Look up the real meaning of the word 'bishounen' and you'll find Sakuragi antonymous to it! Sakuragi is too ugly for Rukawa! So get over it already!

Now there's my scary thought for the day… No it's horrible enough to haunt an entire lifetime! I have a hundred derogatory adjectives for this notion... but among the most subtle being: tasteless, deluded, unromantic, and ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FREAKIN' MIND?! Why would anyone want to punish Rukawa this much? This is just too sick! Too vile for words! Here is my argument: Has Rukawa ever thought of Sakuragi the way he does about Sendoh? Has he ever thought about Sakuragi at all?!!! Anyone who demeans Rukawa's intelligence and sense of taste would say YES! But hey, Rukawa even cares more about Kiyota than Sakuragi, simply because Rukawa knows who's worth paying attention to. Those who think this, obviously has a distorted perception of Rukawa… or are just one of those narrow-minded fans who refuse to see the real picture, or those fans who didn't really watch the series and just rely on what other fans say and have obviously been brainwashed by no-brainer fanfiction and doujinshi. If you think there were any hints that Rukawa really wanted Sakuragi, they're most likely just figments of your biased imagination hehe... ^_^ Besides, hint or no hint, as a yaoi couple, they look disgraceful together because to put it mildly… Sakuragi is not high-class yaoi material!

Has Rukawa ever blushed when thinking of Sakuragi? Has he ever thought of Sakuragi? Stalked Sakuragi? Stared at Sakuragi mesmerized? Dreamt of him? Begged him for help? No, but Sakuragi has felt and done all that and more to Rukawa! While learning the lay-up with Haruko, he remembered Rukawa and blushed… why the he'll for?!! Gross. He thinks about Rukawa obsessively, out of nothing, he brings Rukawa into the picture and even dreamt of Rukawa as a cute cat! You'll often catch him gawking at Rukawa deeply mesmerized, as early as the first episode, when they first met on the rooftop! And it gets worst throughout the series and the manga. He does everything to get Rukawa's attention! There are endless hints in the series and the manga that Sakuragi is obsessed with Rukawa, so why do RuSaku fans choose to ignore the one sided Sakuragi x Rukawa pairing and insist that it is Rukawa who has the hots for Sakuragi? Why deny the obvious? Because they'd rather think in favor of Sakuragi? I remember one of the surest hints of Sakuragi's obsession for Rukawa, it's when Sakuragi accidentally dunks on Akagi's head, and then when Akagi starts strangling him, Sakuragi starts pleading to Rukawa for help! Oh-kaaayyy, so where'd that come from? He totally hates this guy's guts then he suddenly begs for help? It's not like Rukawa was the only one there who could help him! Sakuragi desperately wants Rukawa. It's simply the most obvious and disturbing one-sided pairing in the series.

Gaaahhhh!!! Omydeargawd! Here's my number two scary thought! This notion is vile enough to plague a thousand lifetimes! ^^;; *pukes* Anyone who'd think this is even likely must seriously undermine poor Sendoh's intelligence. There may be hints in the series, but they're lame. Sendoh provoked Sakuragi because he saw skill. But other than that, the rest is imaginary! After Sendoh saw that Sakuragi was no more than a clown on court, he diverted his attention to his true rival, and that is no other than Rukawa. Not even Maki could spark Sendoh's interest as much as Ruru does! I am aware that in the world of YAOI, any pairing goes because it's just for fun. For the seme x uke positions, there are qualifications to be met, but they aren't always applicable. So I guess I'm fighting more for the "shounen-ai" side of yaoi more than the "lustful" side of it. *sigh* But really, only someone who seriously hates Rukawa or Sendoh direly will have them lusting after Sakuragi. It's an unspeakable massacre! It's a quirk in the brain! It's… sick!

This isn't a gross pairing like RuSaku or SenSaku, but for me there's just no magic in it. There are no magical hints whatsoever, just pure admiration as teammates and fellow ace basketball players. Rukawa asked Mitsui to go one-on-one with him at that time because among all the team members whom he hasn't gone up against, Mitsui was one of the best players in Shohoku for him. And besides there was no one else at that time. He defeated Mitsui easily, and moved on to greater challenges after that. I think Mitsui lacks 'uke' characteristics. Mitsui & Rukawa clearly respect each other as basketball players, and that's all there is to it.

Ask any RuSaku shipper why they hate SenRu and more often than not, they don't have a good reason or don't have a reason at all! This is not just an assumption, but something I've experienced first hand! Most SenRu haters are Sakuragi die-hard fans and they won't admit it, but they only hate Rukawa because he's too perfect, and it is natural to feel resentment towards him if you love Sakuragi among all. Some hate Sendoh cos they're jealous that Rukawa obviously likes him more than anyone else! And Sakuragi fans want to believe that Rukawa is indeed obsessed with Sakuragi and will blindly deny any hint disproving that! And because SenRu hints are the sweetest in the series (next to Uozumi x Akagi hints that is ^^), while RuSaku hints are often just bickering and teamwork and stuff that you can normally debunk with simple rational explanation, they hate SenRu the most! Because there really is no good reason to hate Rukawa and Sendoh, unless you choose to misunderstand them… Does anyone care to prove me wrong?

The first thing that really turns me off about a fan-girl is this notion: I like both SenRu & RuSaku, or I go for any pairing as long as it's yaoi. Obviously, these kinds of fans just want to play safe and make it a point to "belong" to any fandom group. Well loving all is also one way of saying that you love none. Loving all the characters in a series indiscriminately, to a point of blind fan-girling is definitely just blind fan-girling. There are even those who believe that fans who really "fall in love" with their favorite characters are those who have no fun at all. Well… that certainly depends on your definition of "fun". I don't blame them though. It's not easy to choose a character to be loyal to. And love demands loyalty. I truly believe that it isn't easy to fall in love, and most people would rather pretend to like something or someone than become seriously involved. It's easier to belong that way. I don't see how liking a character without love and merely manipulating them into becoming an alter-ego of yourself or completely erasing their own true personalities to fit your personal fantasies could be fun. Love is a gift, and to experience it is nothing short of miraculous! How can falling in love not be fun? I think, only those who have never truly fallen in love can attest to this. Well, not surprisingly, even if those fans who love all (and love none) are rampant, seemingly dominating the net with their "detached" fanfics, fanarts & opinions, the fans who truly love, though persecuted and forced into hiding, are the ones who still truly prevail in the end. Because even if they don't speak loudly or have numerous fics to prove their devotion, fanworks of those who love, rise above the norm because they are evidently more delicate and special, for nothing is truly beautiful without love.

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